Yesterday was my birthday! Woot! 43 years old. Don't feel a day over 45! Oh...wait...
Anyway, it was a good day. Malia let me be lazy all day with the exception of cooking meals and my dessert. I played video games, read, watched some TV, and played with the chickens. It was a nice day all in all.
The boys were gone and Malia was working in the yard, which I did feel guilty about as I was playing on the computer. At one point I thought I might close the blinds so I didn't have to see her working, but that would have been mean, so I just did my best to ignore the guilt and keep playing. My heart's not really into video games right now. I don't really have a game that I HAVE to play right now. I've tried some of the old favorites (Portal and WoW), some games I own but never got into (DC Universe), and new games (EVE Online and Age of Conan Unchained), but nothing seems to be that great.
I read from a couple different books, How to Goblin-proof Your Chicken Coop (Not very easy, actually. It involves moving the Ley Lines away from your property by constructing an object of power that is far enough away from, yet close enough to, your property to bend the line. Goblins are notorious for following Ley Lines, apparently!), the 4th book in the Dresden Files series, and a Paleo Cookbook looking for something good to eat.
Then it dawned on me why I was feeling so out of sorts.
Saturday Malia kept me busy to keep me from thinking too much about Dad. March through April is a tough time for me because it's when I think about him the most. I love my dad. I wish he had made better choices with his health, but nothing could help him beat his addiction to cigarettes. It was frustrating to watch him deteriorate over the years, knowing what he was doing to himself and the rest of us. I know there was nothing I could do to stop it, but since I am who I am, I always felt I should have at least tried to talk to him about it. It's sad that he left us so young.
It's been 6 years now, and I miss him all the time. I think about the things he missed with me, the boys, and the rest of the family. I know I would have continued to drive him crazy with my love for a certain sports team from the hated city of Pittsburgh. He would have been disappointed with the Browns season again, but hopeful for the upcoming season. I think he would have been okay with the Ravens winning the Super Bowl. He let go of losing the Browns to Baltimore after the Browns came back, though it was against the Niners and he did have a soft spot for them as well.
He wasn't the greatest man, but he had some pretty awesome streaks in him. He had a wicked sense of humor. He had a very infectious laugh. I wish my boys would have been able to know him longer.
Love ya, Dad!
Today my weight was back up to 225.2 lbs. I did eat almost a whole 8 x 8 inch pan of Paleo Brownies though, so I'll take the blame for that one! They were pretty darn okay though.Not as good as wheat flour and white sugar brownies, but good enough to make it worth eating them. I have been having food cravings that I can't quite satisfy for the past few days. I think I am back into withdrawals after the last few weeks of eating not so great. That bacon, potato, egg, and cheese dutch oven breakfast was really good, and I think that is what I want more of! Tater tots for the win! GRRRRRR.
Food diary is pretty boring today, so going to skip it. I ate the usual breakfast, steak and salad for lunch, grilled chicken breast and salad for dinner, and some macadamias, dark chocolate and pepperoni for snack. Not enough veggies today, so tomorrow I will rectify that. Got a good work out today that included walking and climbing a bunch of stairs and up and down hills.
Good times!
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